A Sisyphean Day

I get bonus points for using the word sisyphean!! I even get extra for knowing what the term means.I so miss the days of earning extra credit, and bonus questions and answers. I remember that, when I was young and we went to visit my grandparents in San Diego, the best city in all of California, Disneyland being the best land in state and Portuguese Bend being the best road, I guess I distract easily as I didn't finish my thought. I could keep rambling on about San Diego and how much I love it, or Disneyland and how much fun it is (I would love to work there in the Winnie the Pooh costume), or how cool it was to drive 20 miles per hour and still get air in a 15 passenger on a hill on a road in Southern California. But instead I will finish my thought.

Anyway, when we visited my grandparents, in the evening after dinner Jeopardy was usually on the television and I would sit there with my mom and dad and sister and grandparents and an uncle or two, feeling stupid. My family are a bunch of smarty pants. Between my grands and uncle and dad, they knew all the answers, and if there was one they didn't know, my mom knew it. My dad even got so competitive with it he would push a fake buzzer button and answer the question, "what is...." and say "hah, beat you, buzzing is half of the game."

Needless to say, thinking my relatives are heroes, I wanted to be like them, I wanted to actually go on Jeopardy. I learned all sorts of useless facts, and they usually only came handy during bonus question periods at school. I had a teacher my senior year who would ask I think 3 bonus questions every day and if you answered it you got a point of extra credit. I loved to win, it made me feel smart and who doesn't need extra credit. Once he asked a question about a game that can start with a Lopez maneuver, which excited me because I remembered my dad has a whole book on that maneuver in chess. So I raised my hand quickly, attaching an "ooh, ooh, ooh" to it wanting him to pick me instead of the other kids with their hands raised. I had my eyes closed in excitement and cheer knowing that today I might just be fast enough to get a bonus point, waiting for my name to be called. I heard no names, just some chuckling. It was then that I opened my eyes to see that no one else's hand was raised and I was grunting in excitement for no reason. My future wife was sitting next to me, and she lost it an started to laugh, followed by the rest of the class. Bit embarrassing, but hey I got the extra credit, and believe you me it was not the silliest or craziest thing I ever did for extra credit. That may be another night's post though, but I will say that I owe President Regan an apology.

I like to win, and always have. I even competed in seminary school with another to see who typed out the most notes during class (only I didn't know we were racing until she told me). Lately I have had my stubbornness and resolve to win tested more than I ever have, by my son. Truly, he is my kid, as he is just as stubborn and determined as I am.

He's at that phase in his life where he's experiencing night terrors, so he wakes up crying a lot in the middle of the night and doesn't like to go back to sleep. It has, to say the least, deprived the whole family of sleep over the past few weeks. It can take us a few hours to get him to go to sleep sometimes, he's that afraid of sleeping. The worst for me is trying to get him to take his after lunch nap. Its the only nap he gets, and it gives Lisa or I, depending on who's home with the kids, the chance to catch up on chores or paperwork or dare I say watch movies that don't have puppets or talking animals in them (Star Wars doesn't count, Chewbacca is an alien, not an animal, and Yoda is......well.........a puppet but it still doesn't count, he has special powers).

Lately, especially the day after a few terrors, he will refuse his naps entirely. I have found myself sitting on the floor reminding him to lay down and sleep while furiously struggling to stay awake myself (stupid lava lamp night light, you are so intoxicating and calming). Today was the absolute worst though. He refused to nap, refused to lay down. No matter what Lisa or I did, he wouldn't nap. So, because she needed to go to the office (its our split day)and I can't baby guard him and take care of his sister, we decided he would win that battle over nap time.

While I gave up that nap time battle, I was determined not to lose the war. I have been concerned about his lack of sleep lately and knew as a good father, he must nap. Every half hour to an hour or so, I put nice calming music on (Celtic Woman and the soundtrack to The Terminal), put him in my lap with his blanky, his milk, his bear bear and his new Pooh bear that his great uncle sent him. Then I rocked him gently and sang quietly in his ear. Slowly I'd watch his eyelids start to droop and close, his breathing get heavy, and his grip on teddy and milk loosen. Then as soon as he got to the point of passing out, he would realize I was winning, get off my lap, run circles around the coffee table and then do his happy dance, laughing at me. Curses, foiled again.

I even put him in his bed a few times, because I thought he was close enough to sleep. But alas, there were no naps taken in our household this afternoon. I felt like Sisyphus (you may pause to laugh at the name if you'd like), rolling the ball up the hill, almost reaching the apex, and then watching in misery as the ball rolls down the hill. Only the ball was my kid and the hill was his progress from waking to sleeping. Nothing I did worked, not even close.

When my wife returned from work I told her about my afternoon with the kids. I guiltily told her that I couldn't get our son to sleep, and that I was ashamed in my failure (and also disappointed because I was going to eat popcorn while he napped and watch a new netflix). As I explained, expecting to see her join with me in concern for our son's sleep pattern today, I saw something unexpected. She was feeling guilty about something, turning red. When I asked her why and if she had any ideas why he didn't take his afternoon nap, she quietly said, "Well, he kind of took a nap this morning instead of this afternoon." "Why? and Where?" I asked. "Ummm....(nothing good ever starts with um)...he grabbed his blanky and milk and teddy and crawled into my lap and the next thing I knew I woke up almost two hours later and he had been sleeping in my lap the entire time." I quickly did my impression of Ricky Ricardo stating that she had some 'splaining to do. It reminded me of Independence Day when Will Smith told Jeff Goldblum they needed to work on their communication skills after some unexpected mishaps.Apparently she forgot to tell me the nap had already been checked off the daily checklist (at the bottom of the checklist by the way in case you're wondering is clean the bathroom, which is my job, but if your son splashes in the bathtub enough, the bathroom washes itself with his help right?). So my war of the nap today was pointless, there was no way I was going to win. I mumbled, "well, that makes my day a sisyphean tragedy."

Oh how I miss the days of bonus points. Today when I realized I was experiencing a sisyphean day and pointed it out to my wife, I think she misunderstood me and thought I said I was having a "sissy" day. No bonus points from her today. She gave me the look, one she gives quite often which asks, without using any words minds you, "and what does that mean in regular English?" I quickly explained that it meant, in very short terms, pointless or fruitless. She looked at me, still feeling bad for forgetting to tell me about the secret nap with mommy in the chair (which my wife is currently sleeping in with our daughter, posing like that huge thinking man sculpture), and said, "You're such a Davey, use real words sissy."

BLT says......today a sisyphean day, tomorrow a herculean day. I still get points for trying though.