Moniker

Whirlwind three days lately, is today Sunday or is it Thursday, because I've been awake so much over the past four days that it feels like I've taken naps instead of going to bed. So with that thought in mind, this is Thursday's blog instead of Sundays, welcome to the past.

Don't get upset, I've just turned back time for you in an attempt to hide my own forgetfulness, because no one likes to accept the blame. Which is silly really because I don't have to write, I choose to, because I like to and it lets people who know me know what's happenin' (see that cool slang I just used, yeah I'm dope) in the life of BLT, the one and only. Well, that is unless you count the other overweight Lieutenants out there, but none of them give themselves the BLT moniker (what a cool word, reminds me of Monica from friends, in fact I even wonder if that's what people from Santa Monica call themselves)(I like statements inside of bubbles by the way). "Hey where you from?" "Cali." "Really? Me too, where?" "So-Cali." "Ah cool what are you?" "I'm a moniker, (you know a fan of Monica from friends and also a native of Santa Monica." "Cool, I'm a Pomonan." Doesn't that sound like a post modern Roman slang.Actually its a funny thought, what people call themselves based on where they're from. We've got Los Angelinos, Chicagans, New Yorkers, San Franciscans, Seattle-ites, Juneauans, another of my favorites would be a Konan, which either reminds me of Arnold as Conan the barbarian or Conan the red-headed comedian who makes me laugh (not something many comedians do, or red-haired people for that matter).The first place I ever lived was a tiny fishing village in Southeast Alaska called Hoonah. So that would make me at the time a Hoonahn, which to me sounds like a combination of Hunan Beef, sooooo tasty, and naan, a tasty Indian bread. Yeah, that's right, I'm cultured, I've tried exotic foods like Indian, Thai, Brooklyn style pizza, Chicago Deep Dish, Hawaiian food, Vietnameese, Greek, and Taco Bell.

But perhaps my favorite terms people use to say where they are from is from my two home towns. Yes I have two, I'm a Salvation Army officer's kid so I'm lucky I only have two home towns. I spent seven years in Palmer Alaska (just five miles away from the hometown of she who must not be named who ran for vice president and then quit as our governor and now embarrasses us by her chasing of the media and celebrity status by acting appalled at the outcome of wanting to be famous and who I read in EW wants to do some kind of show where she goes camping with the other she who must not be named who has eight kids and a husband who got fed up with her because she wants to be famous, in my own state.So if you hear of any wildfires starting up in Alaska we should check these ladies' handbags and see where their battery operated curling irons or straighteners are and how much hairspray they have left, because we may have found the culprit(s)). Wow, I think that was almost a real life rant, a completely biased sharing of my personal opinion about two people who drive me nuts by their search for fame and recognition, their desire to be in the spotlight. That felt pretty good actually.

Anyway, I spent seven years in Palmer Alaska. That is, sort of. I lived in between Palmer and the more well known Wasilla Alaska (before it was well known due to the above mentioned woman who shall remain unnamed). But my zip code was Palmer and my schools were closer to Palmer than Wasilla, so that's what I count. Anyway, spending 7 years in Palmer made me out to be a Palmeranian (woof!), and I just think that's funny.

My other hometown is beautiful Ketchikan, Alaska's first city, Salmon capital of the world, Alaska's rainiest city, and now somewhat infamous for the alleged bridge to nowhere that the above mentioned she who must not be named bragged about making the whole town the laughing stock of the nation, a joke to make the city of Ketchikan and its residents look stupid. Those who don't live in Ketchikan, if you ask me, aren't entitled to opinions about a bridge from town to the airport, because they don't know. If you live in Ketchikan and you think its a terrible idea, congratulations according to me you're entitled to have that opinion and I won't argue with you about it.

Anyway, I spent five years in Ketchikan and I will forever call that my true home, it is my favorite place in the whole world. It's where I graduated from high school, got my driver's license, met my wife (sort of), got married, got my first and second job, accepted my calling for officership, and accepted Jesus as my Savior. So, its very special to me. Anyway, when I lived in Ketchikan, I called myself a Ketchikanite, which I thought was cool because it reminded me of the Dark Knight (before the movie came out) which made me almost a superhero.

When I started to think about what a superhero from Ketchikan would be, only a few things came to mind. He or she (after all this is an equal world now right?) would have to be waterproof, would probably wear Xtra Tuff Boots 9 months out of the year, and since Ketchikan is the self-proclaimed salmon capital of the world, would probably be an avid fisherman. So I envision hip waders in place of a cape, a super hero whose power is the ability to "catch" or "Ketch" things with great skill. Bad guys, fish, waves, trickery, deceit. As Wonder Woman had a lasso of truth and the Green Lantern a cool ring (that by the way I would like to have a copy of if you're a close enough person to me to ever by me a gift), the Ketchikan Knight would have a fishing pole to lure in the bad guys and make the world a better place, and also catch some pretty good size halibut and King Salmon. I also think the alter ego, the day job of this knight would be as an officer for the fish and game department.This is apparently the danger of blogging, getting a view into somebody's head. And now you have sen mine, I play with words and make up superheroes apparently. I myself am a Palmeranian Ketchikanite (kind of a mutt I guess). But I guess the important thing is that I have fun in sharing the wacky ways in which my mind works. And I hope you enjoy it too, yes you. Interesting, I titled this blog believing I was going to talk about my daughter since I talk about my son a bit already. However, I didn't even mention her so that will have to be tomorrow's and I shall rename this one to something with a Harry Potter (cause I have Harry on the brain) or other interesting name. Ooh, perhaps "Moniker."

On a very serious note, if you or anyone you know has any pull with Taco Bell, please put a Taco Bell express here in Haines. My fellow Hainesians (avid underwear wearers) and I would greatly appreciate it.

BLT says.......don't let the voices out of your head, the result could be pretty kooky.