"Define Irony..."

I sincerely believe that Steve Buscemi is an underestimated actor. He's not the traditional leading man material if you know what I mean (I'm not very blessed in the looks department (don't feel the need to oooooo at me, if I wasn't over it I wouldn't write about it)(I'm just doing this set of parenthesis just so I can have two complete sets inside of one set, there must be a grammatical rule against it that I'll have to ask my grammatician about (you know who you are) (hey that's a third and now fourth set inside of one, making five total), and if you don't know what I mean I'll spell it for you, the man is not handsome or tall or buff. He's practically an every man sort of actor, because he looks either normal or dare I say sub par, especially for a Hollywood type.

I remember the first movie I saw that he was in, Armageddon. Good golly Miss Molly was he funny in that movie, the scene of him doing a parody from Dr. Strangelove sitting on a nuclear warhead still gets me to laugh, as well as his Wile E. Coyote commentary. Since then, I've seen him in several Adam Sandler movies as hilarious supporting characters with fun props (lipstick, a sniper rifle, a shopping cart, huge eyeballs, and my favorite was when he rocked a fanny pack), a few more Michael Bay movies, and I think I even heard his voice as a hamster recently (G Force), and of course he's a hilarious private investigator on 30 Rock too (another reason to love the rock).

I've loved all the characters I've seen him play, but I think my favorite was Garland Greene. In Con-Air, a movie that I'm sure many people have forgotten, but I don't understand why with classic lines like "Put...the bunny....back in the box" Mr. Buscemi played a character I'll never forget.

A lot of movie characters gave me nightmares as a younger person. Old Yeller (growling dog=scary), Freddy Krueger whom I swore worked as a janitor at my school, Ursula the sea witch from The Little Mermaid, Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Splinter from Ninja Turtles and E.T. all haunted my dreams from time to time. But one character gave me sleepless nights and, how do I say this, moist bedding more than any other, and that was Hannibal Lecter, who ate people's livers with a chianti and some farva beans.

I was never allowed to watch Silence of the Lambs, but I had my way around that. In one house we lived in growing up, from the top bunk, if the mirror on the door to my bedroom was angled just right it would catch the reflection of the hallway mirror which caught the reflection of the TV. That is how I saw Aliens and the very creepy Mr. Lecter. Even more so than E.T. and Ursula, Lecter was freaky, a look of evil.So in Con-Air, which is not about a hairdryer factory or a bunch of women sitting around talking about their hair products, a movie about a bunch of convicts who take over their transport plane to head for freedom, has a Lecter-ish character. As they describe him and his deeds, it sets you up for someone big and scary or with creepy unblinking eyes like Anthony Hopkins, you expect big and evil when they describe this character. The armor-ed truck pulls up, and guards have extra precautions to lead this Garland Greene on the plane using poles like dog catchers. You don't see his face, like Lecter he's wearing a mask. When you eventually see the whole character, played by Mr. Buscemi, I can't help but laugh, because the face of pure evil is supposed to be him, a very petite man who is calmer than any other convict on the airplane.

He's got a great line in the movie, one I've never forgotten. After the convicts endure a shootout with law enforcement officials while refueling their jet and actually managing to survive and lift off, the cons celebrate. You see them dancing in the airplane to Sweet Home Alabama, having a grand old time in their stolen freedom. After seeing this, Greene, who is sitting down with a Barbie doll (which most normal guys do pretty regularly right) looks at Nicolas Cage with long hair and a southern twang that is anything but genuine and says, "Define irony....bunch of idiots dancing in a plane to a song made popular by a group that died in a plane crash." Always, always, I've found that funny.

Until tonight, when that quote came back to taunt me. Every now and then our children gang up on Mommy and Daddy deciding that they'll both have huge emotional breakdowns at the same time just before bed time. When they reach breakdown mode, there is nothing I can do to help them, especially as seen by my son's recent speaking breakthrough of "No daddy, mama please." My presence just upsets him more (and doesn't help my very sensitive self image either) and although it hurts to know and hear, I'm proud he says please. Every once in a while his sister gets that way too, where Daddy is so five minutes ago, and Mommy is the new Daddy, rendering me helpless. So, Lisa holds them and rocks them, cuddling with them and whispering in their ears until they fall asleep. Sometimes the breakdowns are over in five minutes. But not tonight.

As we are now well more than two hours past both of their bed times and they are wide awake, I'm actually finding myself falling asleep trying to be supportive to my wife. I doze off for a minute and wake up to see my kids wide awake watching Celtic Woman in concert (last ditch effort to get them to sleep, we don't pull the big guns very often, but we have a name for them, Celtic Woman) and I can't help but think, in Steve Buscemi's distinctive voice, "Define irony.....the only person falling asleep during kid's bedtime is the daddy who's supposed to be awake." Argh! This is the bad side effect of memorizing movie lines, they can come back to haunt you.BLT says....I'm not a huge fan of ironing, and when it affects my sleep, I'm not a fan of irony either. Don't worry Mr. Buscemi, I don't blame you.