Angel's Pipes

If Sirens (mythological creatures, not emergency ones, I do live in reality) ever did exist, I imagine their luring singing sounding like the beautiful voices of the ladies of Celtic Woman.

How come their merchandising is only targeted at the female population? There are only five things I'm okay with advertising on my belly or back (with clothing, not tattoos mind you-no judgments on them, but the flab stays hidden at all times). Those things are Jesus (with COOL shirts mind you), The Salvation Army (because let's face it, I get free shirts), Star Wars, Comic Book Heroes, Old Navy (it rhymes with Davey), and liposuction. Okay that's six, but liposuction doesn't count because it was a joke. I don't support liposuction, I feel like its reading the end of War and Peace without doing the actual, difficult process of reading the darn thing. Meaning, it makes people skinnier without actually doing the natural and lengthy process of losing the flab through diet and exercise. Liposuction=expensive cheating.

However, if there really were a sixth option and there was Celtic Woman clothing wear aimed for men, I would be advertising. The music of Celtic Woman has completely changed my life, and helped me get through some sticky spots without blowing my lid, and has been doing so for more than three years.

When I was a seminary student (aka cadet), sometimes the schoolwork combined with long hours of requirements outside the classroom and the feeling of constantly being surrounded by the same people all the time (living together, eating together, all the same classes) like hamsters in a cage or fish in a fishbowl could be quite overwhelming.I've always been an awesome sleeper. People have numerously told me they were jealous of me because of how well I sleep. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm out for the count, dead to the world until my body is ready to wake up. This made it hard for "up all night" parties because I was always the first asleep and thus was pranked on in my sleep (with friends like that who needs enemies right), and has also included some scary instances when I was left alone during a fire alarm while I was sleeping (because I didn't hear the alarm-on an aircraft carrier of all things) and had there been a fire I could have been killed. But, I've always had this gift.

Until the overwhelming times of being a cadet caught up with me. There was always so much to process and think about, and for the first time ever I couldn't shut my brain off. There was actually a span of a week where I didn't sleep at all at night (which gave me plenty of time to get ahead with homework and walk around in the dark outside). Nothing I tried worked, and by the way, warm milk is nasty gross.

So as I sat in our living room, with no homework to do, nothing to study for, no desire to play video games, I surfed channels on our television (I'm a skilled surfer of TVs, not waves). While surfing, I cam across a channel I've always loathed (even more so than Phoebe Buffay), PBS, and while I never stop, just keep pushing, I was stopped dead in my surfing. Soothing colors accompanied the most beautiful rendition of Orinocco Flow I had ever heard, followed by more beautiful singing (from women singers actually wearing clothes for once, and clothes that actually cover the body, thank goodness) of gorgeous tunes. It lulled me to sleep.

I think I awoke the next day around noon, and my wife was pretty worried because I'm a strict up and at 'em at six a.m. sort of guy. My first thought when I woke up was, where are the pretty singing ladies? I couldn't find them on t.v. so I quickly showered and dressed (and by quickly shower I mean like 20 minutes), grabbed the wife and took off for Best Buy. But, I had no idea who these ladies were that sang me to sleep with angel's pipes.So I asked around, and the customer service at Best Buy in Torrance was pretty impressive considering all I knew was that it was four ladies singing traditional music. They didn't even laugh at me when they discovered what I was looking and longing for. The one lady even managed not to smile too hard at me when I asked if there was ONLY 2 Cd's of them. After purchasing my golden music, it was off to Panda Express (oh how I miss you, you drastically tasty Orange Chicken) and back to the dorm so I could introduce my wife to Celtic Woman.

I asked her to listen with me and we'd talk about how wonderful they were afterwards. However, I only made it through two songs before I passed out for four hours, listening to these ladies the entire time. When I awoke, I felt happy, and peaceful. I wondered to myself, could they help me with other things as well?

I listened to them on the freeway, and even in the middle of traffic on the 405, I could smile with their sweet calming melodies. In between classes, when people occasionally drove me nuts or teachers angered me, a few minutes of this music and I was back to peaceful loving thoughts. On airplanes, when I'm afraid for my life (this is not so bad anymore, I've given it to God and He's made me much better, and I thank Him), the music transports me to the green isles of Ireland, watching the ocean and feeling the breezes, taking life in nice and slow.

Even now, they make a rough day better. When my wife is gone I have a hard time sleeping (I think because I'm used to her talking to me until I pass out and I'm used to it), it is Celtic Woman who help me move into a state of calming sleep. When nightmares arise, prayer and some Celtic music bring happy dreams (usually involving my kids and a grassy sea or warm ocean).


When my son came in my room this morning at 4 a.m., grumpy, cranky, tired, whiny, possibly having a nightmare, and mad his mommy wasn't there, it wasn't me who lulled him to sleep, but Chloe. Maybe like father like son.

Its important to know how to calm yourself; count to ten, count sheep, count breathing (all of which are hard to do if you can't count very well), read a book are all suggested ways, but mine is prayer and music, calming music. Its amazing how it can even change my attitude or lull me to sleep. Thank God I've found my calming, peaceful attitude adjuster, it gets me through good days and bad.BLT says.......need a lift, a pick me up, something soothing? Give Celtic Woman a try, music so good it must be illegal or fattening.